Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

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Just last week, a raccoon (presumably an escaped pet) was captured in a garden in Henlade near Taunton by an animal rescue charity. The owners had believed it to be a badger. It seems that, even with all of the wildlife documentaries on TV, people still don't know what a badger looks like, or what size it is - twice the weight of a raccoon.

The week before, it was the 'Essex lion' farce. Again, the people who reported this animal didn't have a clue what size a lionness is - 15 to 20 times the weight of a Maine Coon cat.

I have to assume that most, if not all, of the reports of big cats are mistaken. They may be dogs, large domestic cats, even deer. People imagine things.

[Joe K]

Well, it was the silly season. Perhaps things will calm down, now. Either that, or flying pigs will be sighted, and maybe even filmed with very shaky, out of focus cameras...

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I am a true believer in porcine aviation. I believe that Elvis will come back to us, riding a magical winged pig and bringing us alien technology and the elixir of life.

Having the gift of prophecy, I can assure you that, before the aforementioned second coming occurs, someone else will report seeing another big cat in Gloucestershire.

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...and here it is. Now Frank Tunbridge is claiming that a brown cat (of what size he doesn't say) with a long, thin tail and a small head has been sighted near Tesco in Brockworth. This will have been another unusually large domestic cat.

Domestic cats vary in size. I've had huge feral cats living in my garden. In the eighties, I had a fierce cat that I called Fat Cat that often slept under my privet hedge, even in the coldest weather. Cat flu got him in the end. In the noughties, I had a good tempered cat that I called Top Cat sleeping in a cardboard box that I provided for him. He was the alpha male in the area for about eight years. He lost condition and then suddenly disappeared about two years ago - dead in someone else's garden, I suppose. He must have fathered scores of kittens in his time, so there may well be one of his descendents waiting to take over the territory.

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Frank Tunbridge is back with another account of a big cat sighting. This time it's in the Golden Valley near Chalford. He's calling it a puma, despite the fact that pumas are light greyish-brown and this sighting was of a black cat. But let's not allow facts to get in the way of a big cat story.

He used to call big black cats 'panthers', but he doesn't seem to know quite which species (or hybrids) are supposedly roaming the Gloucestershire countryside.

By the way, I know a woman who has a tom cat that weighs 14lbs.

[Deleted]

Yet more nonsense from TiG and Frank Tunbridge in today's Citizen. This time he's claiming that the roundabout bunnies at Barnwood [the article says Brockworth] have mysteriously disappeared. He doesn't offer any explanation, though.

If they really have disappeared, then it will be because poachers have sent in ferrets and the bunnies have become dinner for a number of people.

I drove by that roundabout at dusk today, and it's true that there weren't any bunnies out. I'll keep an eye out for them.

[Deleted]

The lunatics have taken over the asylum. Firstly, I read on the BBC TV news pages yesterday that 'local residents' (for which read 'Frank Tunbridge') have convinced the city council to send a countryside ranger to investigate the strange case of the disappearing bunnies. Argh! A letter in today's Citizen claims that they had myxomatosis a few weeks ago, so that could be an explanation; but why are they so important? After all, rabbits are legally categorised as pests. Given that they breed like...erm...rabbits, there will soon be a new lot on the roundabout, you can be sure of that. Countryside rangers have better things to do with their time.

Now there is a an article in The Citizen about two dog walkers who saw some large beast, or at least its glowing green eyes, at Whiteshill Park in the dark. They believe that it was a big cat, but no-one seems to have checked to see if there were big cat tracks in that location the next morning. That's the first thing that I would have done. Perhaps it was an alien; or perhaps it was a deer.

[Deleted]

Well, the roundabout bunnies HAVEN'T all disappeared. There were two half-grown ones feeding there at 7.40pm yesterday (18th). Sucks to you, Frank Tunbridge.

[Deleted]

The one rabbit that I saw on the roundabout yesterday afternoon did seem to have myxomatosis; although many rabbits are now partially immune to this horrible disease, so it may survive.

[Joe K]

That sucks. I'm sure the traffic pollution doesn't do anything to improve their resistance to disease...

[Deleted]

The Weekend Citizen must have had a half page that they just couldn't fill, so they ran yet another big cat story, this one being a synopsis of some of their previous big cat stories. Has Frank Tunbridge got some dirt on Ian Mean or something? There surely has to be SOME reason for all of these ridiculous repeated stories with absolutely no scientific evidence.

Apparently, big cat sightings are going to hit a high in January, according to Frank.

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Frank managed to persuade both the city council and the police to send officers to the roundabout to inspect for signs of poaching, of which there were none.

I haven't seen as many grey squirrels in Gloucester Park as there were a few months ago. I really must report this fact to the council and insist that an officer from the countryside unit inspects every tree to make sure that there are no snares...Actually, squirrel meat is rather yummy. The Citizen ran stories about it some years ago. I ate some that they had cooked for the public to taste.

Last week I went to a full meeting of the city council and asked the following question: Given the current financial constraints at the council, and given that rabbits are legally classified as pests and landowners are required to control their numbers, was it really the best use of council officer time to send someone to the Wall's roundabout at Barnwood to investigate why there are fewer rabbits to be seen during the winter? Councillor Kathy Williams replied that they had to investigate the report on animal welfare grounds, which I found to be ridiculous, as no-one had reported actually witnessing anything suspicious. She further claimed that there had been reports of a rough sleeper on the roundabout. If I were homeless, I don't think that I'd choose to sleep on the roundabout. I challenged her claims about animal welfare, as the council did nothing to stop four horses dying recently in the flooding. She replied that they had left the matter to the RSPCA.

So, if anyone is a bit worried about any rabbits, squirrels, feral pigeons or rats in Gloucester, we now know that the city council is duty bound to investigate any and all reports of anything that might be construed as an animal welfare issue. I'm going to hold them to that.

Apparently, I am now a 'civic watchdog'. It feels good. All I need now is to work up to being a 'wildlife expert'. Interestingly, a letter in Saturday's Weekend Citizen claims that Frank Tunbridge is an ex-council worker; perhaps that's why the council and the police took him so seriously, and maybe it is also why The Citizen calls him a 'wildlife expert'.

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The latest issue of the Weekend Citizen has an article in its magazine about Jilly Cooper and one of the cats that she has rescued. It was a stray that she first saw 11 years ago. It was black, and she thought that she had seen a panther - no, really!. She reported this sighting, before realising that it was only a stray cat. She adopted it and called it Feral. The point is that even a woman who has owned many cats and dogs thought that she had seen a panther in the Gloucestershire countryside. She had heard rumours about a panther in the area, and simply imagined that she saw one.

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I thought that Frank had gone a bit quiet lately, but he's back with a letter in today's Citizen. It's about the closure of the car park at the RSPB reserve at Highnam Woods, and I agree with every word of it. (Did I really say that?) It's ridiculous that the car park has to be kept locked because over a period of many years the police have apparently been totally unable to do anything about the problem of people - mainly homosexual men - having sex in public at all times of the day and night at this reserve.

What we need here is an attack on the undesirables by some wild animal - preferably a panther.

[Joe K]

Council lethargy has been matched by public apathy, in these straitened times. Imagine if we could channel all that outrage about Heather Frost...